I started this journey, best outlined by my time spent at college, starting at 195 lbs. I am now down to 163 lbs and quite ecstatic! I have about 35-40 lbs to go, but I'm finally approaching the person I've always felt I was on the inside that I've never quite been able to translate to the rest of the world. I know I wasn't a giant person or anything, but I was always referred to as the "big girl" growing up, and I absolutely HATED it. I always wanted to change. And now that I'm actually taking the initiative, time, and effort to do so, I have never felt so much pride in who I was and what I could accomplish. I could quite literally cry right now, but because I'm a bit more of a balls-to-the-walls kind of girl (at least for today...I've been listening to a lot of P!nk lately :) hahahaha) I will refrain.
Homework always finds a way to destroy your sanity, never forget that! It's strange how time-consuming it ends up being instead of what it was "supposed to be". I think they secretly plan that out, but hey, what do I know? I'm just a college kid! :) But in the long run, I see the value of it. Everything has a purpose, short term or long, and it only takes that little bit of effort on our part to either find that purpose or to just appreciate it with a positive attitude. Why positive, you ask? Well, it makes things easier to handle. I don't know about you, but I would rather make my life as easy and less complicated as possible. Life is already hard-wired to be like that, and I would prefer to keep my focus on more proactive and optimistic points of view.
I adore my family. Particularly my younger brother. He has been an inspiration to me ever since he was born. I think he's the reason I have such a strong maternal side to me - I constantly need to take care of people, and I don't really know why. But I'm sure that he is part of the reasoning. My younger brother was diagnosed with moderate to severe autism, but he was high functioning. The doctors always said he would never read, never interact with people, never joke. How could they predict the life of a child when they were so small? We spent so many years working with him to find out what he COULD do. My mother went to work, and so I dedicated my time to his education and development of social skills. I knew that potential was there, and I just needed to unleash it to the world. He is now in the ninth grade, on reading level, and this is his first year with no special education classes. His struggle motivates me every single day to never give up. Ever. We went back to the doctors a while ago and they looked at him and said, "This is not the kid we see on these papers." Take that modern medicine!! You CAN beat the odds, even if no one else thinks you can. You just need that one person, that one motivation, and you have the world at your feet. I'm so proud of him - he has so many dreams! He wants to be a writer, an artist, and a teacher. He wants to help kids like him, who struggled to make it but want to in the end. He also wants to be an army ranger - he loves strategy and pretty much anything relating to a battle. This one about nearly gave me a heart attack, hence why I note the strong maternal instincts he seems to have instilled. But to me, at least he has a dream. There are so many people who don't, and I feel bad for them. They never are able to see the potential it will unlock.
Five Positive Things
1. I had the best conversation at 2 AM the other night - totally made my friggin day!
2. Spring Break is coming up
3. I have such wonderful friends as roommates...no, they are sisters!
4. The Lord is helping me every day to be strong!
5. I am loved by the people in my life
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