A thousand pardons for the delay in posts! Life has been absolutely hectic. How, you ask? Well, let me tell you! And on with the blogging!! I apologize for the slightly random, stream-of-consciousness pattern this is kind of going to come in, but I feel quite literally brain-raped at this point and it's just being written as it occurs to me.
Homework. Every college kid is painfully familiar with such a term, and it has come to dictate our very existence. I. Freaking. Hate. It. The stress levels are out of this world - literally. If it sends me to the hospital again, I will probably flip out in the most extreme way. I know teachers realize that we have other classes, but with the amount they give us, I often wonder if the REALLY understand. My only hope for sanity lies in the upcoming Spring Break. Don't ask why it's in the beginning of March - I have no friggin clue! But either way, the break will be much needed and much appreciated.
It's also nice to enjoy a moment. There have been little moments throughout the week that really make me just appreciate life. And it's always the little things that make a day complete - you'd never imagine it to be. Maybe it's that awesome conversation with someone you genuinely enjoy talking to, or just going to church and feeling absolute peace. Right now, my little moment of awesome is hanging in my best friend's room, watching her rock out to Lady Gaga and get horribly involved with her latest favorite show, Private Practice. I love how she owns her feelings, and enjoys who she is, even if she doesn't entirely realize or think she does. It's just little moments that make me smile my most favorite smile - not quite a full-blown smile, just a private one. Believe it or not, I prefer to be a bit more private with what goes on in my mind, and I feel like that kind of a smile really reflects just who I am. Whatever floats your boat, find it. Enjoy it. Relish in it and when times are tough, remember it.
It sometimes gets frustrating when you don't know how to express yourself, or what you stand for. Especially in turbulent times, such as the late teenage years lol. So many people set up expectations based on facts about you - your religion, your ethnicity, whatever. Why do people feel the need to set up expectations and take away your opinions? I don't understand it in the least. There's so many contradictory messages sent out by society, namely the ones displaying the messages, "Be who you want to be and enjoy being an individual." As lovely as this ideal is, how realistic is it? I know that people are out there that truly exercise this trait - I try to be one of them. But so much of society is based upon conformity, it's hard to remember that type of an ideal. I know I may be a broken record at this point, and my short term memory doesn't really help either so I honestly can't remember if I've even ranted about this particular topic lol, but seriously. Just food for thought I suppose. Kind of a moot point really because it doesn't entirely matter what you put out there if no one is going to pick it up and apply it in their own lives. Its the worst when someone asks for advice and doesn't bother to use it.
Fear is also a strange emotion. It really just produces two types of reactions: fight or flight. Yet, so often it seems that neither produce a positive effect and the repercussions are horrendous. Why? If it's a defensive mechanism, and it's meant for survival, then why does it make survival so miserable afterwards. It's a domineering emotion that paralyzes most and enrages the rest. And it doesn't even have to be directly related to the situation at hand - it could be fear of the consequences, fear of conformity, fear of society, it's all the same. I highly value the ability to express emotions because we all have a right to feel them. But what happens to those that don't get that opportunity, who have to constantly parade around in a mask pretending to feel only a certain range.
Ok, time to get back to homework. Good to be able to let off some steam - not my best blog, but I tried in the very least! haha
Five Positive Things for the Day
1. Despite the ever-present influence of procrastination, I have managed to get most of my homework done and I've been able to study for my midterms.
2. I have wonderful friends that I can genuinely talk to that really listen to what I say
3. I have a wonderful support system when I need it
4. Mother Nature will hopefully take a Midol and make up her mind about the weather and decide to let it get warm again - definite wishful thinking here
5. I'm alive!
Have a wonderful day guys :) always look for the positive in all!!
-Bug
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